Embracing imperfection... discovering possibilities

A little something....

in honor of Mothers Day. Let's all try to make a conscious effort today, and tomorrow for that matter, to do a little less. And live a little more, in the moment.

"...but the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three on them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in a hurry to get on to the next things: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less".  ~Anna Quindlen

the good life

This weekend marked the first weekend of our 2008 camping season. We had our share of rain over the weekend and to be honest, I contemplated heading home Saturday morning because the kids were bored. The weather was icky and their friends hadn't yet arrived (we weren't sure they were going to). Their constant picking nearly drove me insane! Everything ended up working out and despite the chaos, I was able to begin work on a new little mini book (will share soon!). Mark returned on Sunday from an overnight with friends and family where he was able to do a little four wheeling. We enjoyed spending some time with my step-daughter yesterday, too! Happy 19th Birthday, Mandi!

These two pictures of Chloe make me laugh so hard. Love them. This was her first time fishing  (they weren't biting).

'almost' there

It's pretty common for this New Englander to lose focus at this time of the year, when I find myself in a funk, stuck some where between a beautiful snowfall and the smell of a fresh cut lawn. Our winter melts into the spring, exposing unwanted treasures and smells one layer at a time. It's a time of the year when I have to dig deep for motivation. It's West Coast images like these that provide hope... reminding me of what exists for us, just around the corner. Patience. I must remind myself to be patient.

Work on the house pretty much came to a halt, and I'm closing in on my own personal deadline... which is a good thing of sorts because I tend to do my best work under pressure.

I'm also gearing up for the launch of Pretty Paper Designs (kits, instruction, custom design work, and more)... product is trickling in! I am scheduled to attend the Savory Memories gourmet scrapbooking retreat the weekend of April 11th -13th, where I will provide instruction and have kits available for sale (more on that later!). It's been a while since I've attended a retreat... I am REALLY looking forward to going!

I had some time to scrapbook on Saturday and made much progress on a 10th anniversary mini book for Mark and I. While I was scrapbooking, it occurred to me that this was the first time I had ever scrapbooked anything about Mark and I. And it felt good. I love this guy to pieces. I really need to work on documenting 'us' a bit more.

Speaking of Mark... he started working at the Mountainside Tattoo shop a little more than a month ago now, and I'm so happy for him. He's putting in hours every other weekend, which seems to be a nice compromise... allowing him to spend time with his family and providing him (and us) with a bit of extra income.

And tomorrow morning, I'm back on the band wagon. The weight-loss bandwagon that is. I've started and stopped Weight Watchers more times than I care to admit. When I've stayed true to the plan, I lost weight. When I wavered, I gained. It's that simple. And lets be honest here... the incidental exercise is not helping me in the way that a structured plan of exercise will help. I know that I need to create a plan... one that is both realistic and non-negotiable. I've got to set some attainable goals.

I started taking a new medication a few months back (Propranolol) to combat the chronic migraines that I've been dealing with for many years... now that I'm not pregnant or nursing little ones. My doctor and I have been working diligently over time to find the right medication, and finally, I've found one that works! I have had 95% fewer migraines since taking the Propranolol, and those migraines that I do have are significantly less severe than they previously were. And I don't feel like I'm on a drug, which is important to me. My body feels it though. I've gained more than 10 pounds since I've started taking this. Absence of the migraines, however, far outweighs the weight gain... It's just another reason why working harder at indulging less and exercise more are of great importance. I'm a little worried about that up and coming gourmet scrapbooking retreat (because the food is that good). There however, will be many opportunities for a few good walks around the Mountain Top Inn property in Chittenden VT. 

Mikaela, Sam, Chloe and cousin Abbe have spent a couple days a week swimming at the new Southern Vermont Recreation Center in Springfield VT. Sam and Mikaela have spent the last 10 weeks working on skills through two sessions of swim lessons. This has been really good for these two, who do not favor the cold weather much. Chloe just LOVES to swim... and has no fear, constantly (and intentionally) testing her limits in the water. Abbey spends time helping Chloe learn to swim while Mikaela and Sam are in a lesson (love that). 

Cat napping

Anyone who truly knows me knows these two things...

1. I'm a night owl

2. I like to take a nap

I was born the daughter of a night owl. My mother has worked nights for as long as I can remember. She tried days once, to spend more time with her then school aged children, but she found herself working all day and unable to sleep at night. So she returned to nights.

I love the sound of a quiet house, and candles that burn (because a child hasn't blown them out). I love to sit outside at camp, enjoying the fire... in peace. I haven't been much into crafting lately, but many of my best creations were made in the very early morning hours. Late nights are also the perfect time for my 20 year old kitty to nest up on my lap... as the kids are forever wanting to suffocate her with their affection (this creates many problems in the Mellish household).

I want this, and have added it to my wish list.... assuming that this very talented artist hasn't retired the design. I discovered Lisa Leonard and her beautiful jewelry designs via a Donna Downey newsletter announcing the newest Inspired artist.

After a late night, little is more satisfying than a cat nap, and it has provided Chloe and I with a formal opportunity to read.

Yesterday, in the early evening, I retreated to the tub, just as planned. What I had not planned on was FALLING ASLEEP. For an HOUR. How is that for Rose Petal Betty! Thank you, Jill!

So much to do and think about...

..but tonight, I will relax in the tub and enjoy a lovely cinnamon, apples and peaches Dead Sea Bath Soak... a Rose Petal Betty product. I happened to have massage oil on the mind just a few days ago, and mentioned to Jill my desire to find a good quality/smelling oil. Last Wednesday, I turned the big 35, and a bit of pamering was deemed necessary ;)

This morning my goodies arrived, which included a bottle of Muscle Rescue massage oil, and a bottle of cinnamon, apples and peaches massage oil to compliment the Dead Sea Bath Soak and the handmade soap I'd ordered. Everything smells SOOOO good... I rubbed a bit of the massage oil into Chloe's skin after a bath this afternoon- she loved that! Good stuff!

ETA the bath never happened, because we decided to watch Little Miss Sunshine. Sweet movie and a good reminder of what truly is important in life. And don't we all know someone in our lives that is well represented by each of the portrayed characters?

Snow is expected to arrive again tomorrow, and that gives a chic who is seasonally sick of the shit every good reason to soak  in the tub. No?

Lots of and lots of tedious work

The kids had four days off from school... closed due to ice on Friday, and snow on Monday. I did begin my hallway project, but my progress has been slower than expected. Partly due to the children being home, and a lot to do with the fact that we live in 108 year old house. Nothing, and I repeat nothing, is ever easy here. No two walls are the same size, and a wall that looks perfectly fine literally crumbles when you approach it with sand paper... as if to say 'leave me alone'. The good news... this provided me with an opportunity to repair some good sized holes (2' x 2' ish). And now I know I can do it... one layer at a time... and this makes other jobs around the house seem totally approachable. We have previously hired our friend in to this... he's a master... he makes work look like art. But he's pricey, and his services are really outside of our budget right now. He did come to help us get passed some trouble spots in the girls room... and Mark finally finished prepping those walls this weekend, so they are ready for primer! I'm priming the hall now, but still need to sand some trim and our stair rail... as I've decided to paint that, too. We ordered some new balusters, too... and I'm anxious to see it all come together!

To be free

Today I am feeling so overwhelmed, in that our house is in serious need of a deep clean, repair and paint. I always have said (since having children) that I manage to get through the first layer, but rarely the second. Today I was scrubbing a door casing in the kitchen, and before you knew it, I was following a trail of dirt and crayon that is seemingly un-ending. And that doesn't even begin to address all the wood trim that is in serious need of paint. Walls, too, for that matter. It's enough to make my head crack open... you know, to allow my brain to bounce from floor to ceiling and back again... a hundred times.

And the theme of Sarah Bowen's week two Best Me challenge is {Free Yourself}. How timely! Honestly since she'd posted it, I'd been thinking real hard... what is that one simple thing I can do to free myself? And today, it's so obvious. Now I know... deep cleaning, repairing and painting an entire house (practically) is NOT so simple, but I've got to approach this with baby steps (or the brain will bounce). So tomorrow, I'm heading to the Home Depot, to pick up some paint... some for the girls room, and some for the hallway (which includes the stairway). My plan this weekend... to begin a project... and just knowing that the process has begun and will get done... that's pretty freeing.

Just one of those days...

Today we woke up just 15 minutes before the kids were to leave for school. The alarm clock didn't go off as scheduled. And yes, it was set properly... it's just old and obviously in need of replacement. Of course, Chloe's soaking it with orange juice a week ago might have been its doom. So waking up felt a little bit like the McCallisters' waking up moments before their flight was to leave (oh how I love those two movies... Home Alone I and II). I am proud to say that we had both kids up, dressed, fed, teeth brushed and snacks packed 5 minutes in advance of school starting. Quite the team we are! Thankfully, we live just a couple of minutes from school (and thankfully, their morning driver, is patient... thanks Jen). It unfortunately didn't stop there.

Aura. That is what I get prior to a migraine, and this one told me it was going to be bad. And I neglected to order in a refill ahead of time, so I have suffered all day. Heading to the pharmacy in the morning. The pharmacy in town (also, the scrapbook store- no kidding!), closed at 6:00.

More?! Oh yes, there is MORE! Mark heads for a shower this morning and realizes there is no hot water. Verdict... our hot water heater died. Quote from Suburban Propane... $1818! Oh sure, here you go! (if only). Hours later, many phone calls, a little help from the bank, and more help from a friend in the business... we've a brand spankin' new tank... and it sits in our garage. Working with a friend, and putting my man to work is going to save us about $800, money best spent on heating oil these days. Thankfully, we've lots of family close by, so showers over the weekend are possible! But Monday... when the gas is hooked up, I am taking a hot bath!

You want to know what makes days like these easier? Chloe was laying on the floor drawing last night while I cooked dinner. She will be 2 1/2 in exactly one week. I just adore these sketches... they are so whimsical... like little cute monsters! Amazing that some of them are the size of a dime (hard to see here in the image, I know). I just kept saying... 'Chloe, these are SO amazing!'. And now whenever she draws a pictures (these have obviously become her favorite), she comes running to show me her 'MAZING' picture. Really, it's simple things like this that make a crazy day all right. The other night, a good portion of the town lost power. That is so creepy... to have to feel your way around the house, and to be running into things everywhere, and to feel panic when you realize your smallest is terrified at the top of the stairs, and if she takes just one tiny step, she may very well fall. I managed to get to her, and then to a little portable light we have so that I could see to light candles. The kids proceeded to engage in a discussion about fire, and I heard Mikaela say "if there was a fire, I would try to help Chloe and (our friend who lives here and is developmentally disabled) out of the house first". I swear I felt my heart expand. That girl has so much compassion, and it just meant so much that she thought first to help the two most vulnerable people in our home. Sam said he'd save the cat, and believe me, he would. He loves that old kitty of mine (she's 20). He makes beds for her all over the house. Love him, that Sam!

Christmas 2007

Did you enjoy the holidays? I sure hope so. I found myself more inspired this Christmas season, than any previous season that I can remember, and I have many to credit for that. To name a few... Ali Edwards, Alicia Paulson, and Rebecca Sower. I made pretty cookies (and then accidentally deleted the images of them that I'd planned to share here!), slowly wrapped every gift... a Christmas chore I've always savored, and most importantly just really tried to be present in the moment. That is sometimes difficult, as holidays are notorious for reminding us of unresolved family conflicts, mistakes, and weakness. But I did it. I shut down the craziness and really felt present in enjoying the intended spirit of the season. And for that I am happy. We spent our Christmas Eve at the in-laws with family and friends. I love to see the kids all dressed up in their coordinating outfits... soooo cute! We got to spend some time on Christmas Eve with my step-daughter, and I know that this especially meant so much to Mikaela and Sam. I'm so glad that they had been provided with this opportunity (thank you, Mark). Mikaela & Samuel woke at 5:00 on the morning of Christmas. They are NOT typically known to rise early. Mark asked them why they were up so early and Mikaela said "I feel like I've been sleeping for 7 days, 7 hours and 7 minutes!". Hard not to laugh over that one! We were able to get them to lay back down with a movie (they fell back asleep), as Chloe was no where near ready to get up. A little after 8:00, paper was flying, and Chloe was repeatedly asking for help as her momma didn't have the heart (or courtesy) to not fancy her packages up with ribbon. Mikaela LOVES her pink guitar, and her new Hello Kitty sewing machine (how freakin' cute is THAT!). Sam was crazy over his r/c 4x4 and has yet another race track (I think he has four now... he is car crazy, that boy!). And Chloe, well it's all about the babies. She loves baby dolls more than any other 2 year old I've met (and I love that about her). My step-son arrived Christmas morning, and spent the day with us... always a good thing. The day ended with Christmas dinner at home (I love that). I'm really looking forward to Christmas of 2008 (I can't believe I just said that!). I just have so many things I want to do... special things in the way of decorating, gift giving and memory making. I'm grateful for the 11 months I have left to prepare for it!

Welcome

I'm here, finally! Many already know that I have been working on putting together this blog, and like almost everything else in my life, its taken forever. Truth be told, I should be upstairs stripping wallpaper, folding laundry, preparing for a home visit that is to happen later this afternoon... never a dull moment here!

This blog is to serve three purposes for  me. In my effort to better preserve memories and moments, this blog will be used as a tool for documenting my daily thoughts, our photos and the stories that belong to them. So I will apologize in advance if a story about a 2 year old, a 2 year old and poop, and a prized Monopoly game does little to float your boat. Ahhhh, the memories!

I am hopeful that this blog will prove useful in connecting with friends... especially the ones I love to bits and RARELY hear from. You know who you are. Michelle.

And finally, I am looking forward to getting back to work creatively... supplemening our income and supporting my addiction to paper crafts. In early 2008 (think February!), I will be opening my shop (via this blog). The last two classes I remember teaching were at the Creating Keepsakes Convention in Manchester NH last spring. Then a scrapbooking hiatus, a sabbatical of sorts to retreat and enjoy time with family and friends this summer at the Crown Point Campground in Perkinsville Vermont, where we camp seasonally. I have returned to scrapbooking a bit this fall. Finished up some layouts due to a friend, and prepared kits for sale at the Savory Memories gourmet scrapbooking retreat. Many thanks to those who purchased the kits... Vicki, Kelly, Michelle, and all. You are so appreciated! Wished I could have attended this time around, but know that I was there in spirit! In November, I created a mini book with the 6x6 acrylic Picture It Pageframes. I am so happy with the way my project turned out, and will share images with you soon enough. I am LOVING all the new clear creations that are showing up in galleries across the web. YuM! And speaking of YUM! I have been busy at work securing accounts with some of our favorite scrapbooking companies, like My Mind's Eye, Crate Paper, and Melissa Frances, so you can expect lots of goodness packed into each kit. I am SO very excited about this!

Next to me is a clock, and I can hear its every tick- a reminder of all the things I need to accomplish this afternoon. So I need to go for now. Will return later, and hope to *see* you all soon!